You hear about such lives every now and again; of an old man declaring, “Never a raised voice in 50 years of marriage”, or: “We never argued. Bless her (or his) soul”. Leaving aside the viability of the astounding prefatory remark (i.e., that two people in this day and age could remain together for half a century), one wonders whether selective amnesia plays a significant role in such a statement.
Can it even be possible that two people who have been together for such a lengthy period of time could possible exist without any discernible conflict? No friction; no irritation; no level of heightened stress such that a raised voice must be expressed. Or, are they “playing” with the meaning of the word “argue”?
Perhaps there was a disagreement, by any measure of the word; or a dispute; or a failure to agree; but throughout, there may well never have been any untoward unpleasantness.
Does an argument have to be unpleasant in order for it to be an argument? Or, can two or more people smile, be civil, remain cordial throughout, and simply state their points? Are all disagreements arguments as well, or are some disagreements merely antithetical statements which never rise to the level of an argument? Does it matter whether or not a “personal stake” is involved in the matter? Is that why we often preface a statement with the preemptive strike and motive of avoiding an argument in saying, “No, please don’t take this personally, but … “?
For Federal employees and U.S. Postal Workers who are considering filing for Federal Disability Retirement benefits through the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, if the goal is to live a life where there has never been an argument, then there is likely no point in filing at all. OPM is there to argue and oppose; consult with an attorney who specializes in Federal Disability Retirement Law, and who has no qualms about arguing your case on your behalf.
Now, as to arguing with one’s spouse — that is a different matter, and this attorney who specializes in Federal Disability Retirement Law has no advice to give concerning such matters, or at the very least, refrains from arguing about the issue.
Robert R. McGill, Esquire