It turns out that — in this time of modernity where language can persuade anything and anyone on everything everywhere — that a guarantee is not quite what it proposes.
Is a “money-back guarantee” a guarantee at all? To say to X, “I guarantee you an outcome-O; but if it doesn’t turn out that way, then I will give you your money back.” Huh? How is that different from no guarantee at all?
Okay, so maybe you receive a refund — but you are in no better position than if no guarantee was made to you to begin with; it’s only that you received a refund of your own money with nothing else to show for it.
Disjunctives essentially nullify the affirmative assertion of a statement. Thus, to say that, Well, I guarantee you X or (beware of that disjunctive) if X doesn’t occur, then Y — is to merely give with one hand and take it back with the other.
Life in general, as we all know, rarely has any guarantees at all.
For Federal employees and U.S. Postal workers who suffer from a medical condition such that the medical condition prevents the Federal or Postal employee from performing one or more of the essential elements of one’s Federal or Postal job, the process of filing for FERS Disability Retirement benefits is complex enough without being mislead into thinking that entitlement is a guarantee.
It is a benefit that must be fought for, and as all fights worthwhile have a cost to be paid, it is well to consider that an attorney who “guarantees” an outcome should be approached with caution. Seek the advice of counsel who provides worthy guidance — not one who “guarantees” something that cannot be guaranteed.
Robert R. McGill, Esquire